mymanymoodsofme

ME, MYSELF, AND EYE

APHORISMS AFTER HOURS

Trump’s story: “Dunce upon a time…”

Heartless and hateful in tent city.

Zero tolerance for racists.

If I didn’t have a heart I wouldn’t care.

Don’t make-up your mind by lying to yourself.

I’ve become convinced that GOP only stands for Greedy Old Poops.

Jared is an airhead.

Too many crooks spoil the coup.

A Fox’s tale lies exposed. Telly-Ho!

The battle war on.

Defend your country and abanDON TRUMP.

Free the dumb of speech.

The future spends too much time reflecting upon the past.

Pride goeth before the fall. In the late summer, I think.

The truth will set you free. Unless you’re lying.

If the shoe fits, kick some ass!

Loose lips sink censorships.

 

 

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APHORISMS IN WONDERLAND

To Summit up, the G7 failure was more on Trump.

Fox news viewers are first brainwashed, then put through the spin cycle.

Ironic, isn’t it, when old fakes complain about fake news.

Loyal tea oafs protect Trump.

The Republicans are staging a full-scale Witless Protection Program.

Traitors lie in collusion.

Red herrings can only be washed away with a BLUE WAVE.

People who don’t vote are a vacant lot.

I think Trump’s Cohen to have some ‘splaining to do.

The only par Don can give himself is on the golf course.

Trump is one character with absolutely none.

Policies that trigger mass shootings: BeGUN by the NRA.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s private jet plane. Instead, pray to God to: “Put me in Coach!”

Slaves celebrate what freed ’em.

Limousine drivers have miles and miles to chauffer it.

That boy of mime is really dumb!

First we EXIST, then we EXITS.

 

 

 

THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR APHORISMS

Victimize women now and you’ll pay for it vio-later.

Trump and his “fixer” Cohen have disgust business in the past.

Gulianni reminds me of a broken shutter, unhinged and swinging wildly under Stormy conditions.

Republican priorities: Tax evasion and Facts evasion.

Our democracy is being corruptured from within.

You must choose between liberty and conformity, because you can’t have both.

Kim Jong-un has made a Korea of duping ignorant fools.

Trump rallies sell a berating meaness.

What Fox News viewers will believe is unreal!

With Pruitt in charge of the EPA, polluters are getting off Scott-free.

Hot flashes are making Mother Nature environMENTAL.

It’s getting hard to see the trees for the forest fires.

I like many people don’t like many people.

Clowns have turned FACEBOOK into FARCEBOOK.

If you’re a pacifist speak your peace.

“All you need is love”- JOHN 19:67.

You are what you tweet, you twit!

 

MOVIE REVIEW YOU

Yeah, I saw that movie but I wasn’t all that impressed. You see, I had gone to the video store in search of an exciting and entertaining film for me to watch and enjoy later that night. Unfortunately, however, I left my glasses back at the house, which made it extremely difficult for me to read the labels on the movies. Well, one thing led to another which made a long story short. So you can undoubtedly imagine my bitterness when I finally returned home, for it was only then and there that I discovered the movie I had purchased was entitled “Titanic” and not “Tit-antics” as I had originally supposed. I was shocked and dismayed let me tell you, and I haven’t been that disappointed since the time I went to “Sling Blade” expecting to see a damn good kung-fu movie! What a gyp! They wouldn’t even give me my money back, for crying out loud! Damn them all to hell!

But still, I watched it anyway because it was either that or “Welcome Back, Kotter” reruns, which, for some reason, always give me scary dreams. And it was nothing but a complete rip-off of “Love Boat”, except without all the special guest stars who make it so darn interesting! And they didn’t even have any disco music or Gopher or anything! What’s up with that shit?

I don’t want to give away the suprise ending, but the captain was some sort of retard because he crashed the ship right into this damn iceberg and it sank. Not the iceberg, but the ship. What a dum ass! By the way, don’t get your panties in an uproar because I’ve been given official permission to use the word “retard” in the same way that the brothers can use the n-word. So don’t make me call you a retard, retard, unless I have to.

Sure there were some explosions, and the ship sunk real good, but it didn’t make up for such a completely unbelievable plot! Towards the end, when I found myself feeling sad for all the people who were dying, I pulled myself together by reminding myself it was only a silly make-believe movie and that I shouldn’t be such a sappy ass retard! I felt manipulated and exploited of my emotions by Hollywood yet again.

So I give it two thumbs up…

.

MY BUTT!

 

ONLY LOVE

Only love can turn you ’round

First you’re lost, then you’re found.

Only love can set you free,

Let it be, that’s the key.

Only love can heal the heart,

Do your part, let it start.

Only love can find a way,

So they say, so they say.

 

Sometimes there’s sunshine,

Sometimes there’s rain,

Sometimes there’s pain, yes it’s true.

Please don’t refuse,

Just pay your dues,

You’ll find the love that’s waiting there for you.

 

Only love can fill you up,

If you thirst, lift the cup,

Drink until you overflow,

Then you’ll know, then you’ll know.

Only love can make you whole,

From your heart to your soul,

With the wisdom to be kind,

Yours to find, don’t be blind.

 

Sometimes there’s sunshine,

Sometimes there’s rain,

Sometimes there’s pain, yes it’s true.

Please don’t refuse,

Just pay your dues,

You’ll find the love that’s waiting there for you.

 

Only love can end all war,

Now and for evermore.

Only love can bring us peace,

Sweet release, sweet release.

Only love can tell you how,

This I vow, here and now,

Love’s the answer, love’s the cure,

Love endures, love endures.

 

Sometimes there’s sunshine,

Sometimes there’s rain,

Sometimes there’s pain, yes it’s true.

Please don’t refuse,

Just pay your dues,

You’ll find the love that’s waiting there for you.

 

Only love can turn you ’round,

First you’re lost, then you’re found.

Only love can set you free,

Let it be, that’s the key, let it be.

 

if i was…

if i was a bird up in the sky

i’d get so high and then i’d fly…

so far away…

so far away…

 

if i was a snail i’d dig so deep

and first i’d dream and then i’d sleep…

so far away…

so far away…

 

but i’m just a man

tryin’ to understand

why can’t they just let me be

free

 

if i was a field amongst the trees

i’d dance in the wind and sway in the breeze…

so far away…

so far away…

 

if i was a pebble at the bottom of a pond

i’d set aside the world beyond…

so far away…

so far away…

 

but i’m just a man

tryin’ to understand

why won’t they just let me be

free

 

if i was a bird up in the sky

i’d get so high and then i’d fly…

so far away…

so far away…

WHO’S APHORISM IS IT ANYWAY?

Police brutality justice wrong.

There’s no protesting aloud in a fascist state.

The police suspects their victims.

With outlaws there’s no justice.

Improving world conditions always starts with an idea list.

Doorbells are useful, so don’t knock ’em!

Old habits die hard. Prehistoric cavemen also went out clubbing for dates.

Autobiographies drive past history.

The only question some people ask is why they never get any answers.

To achieve the impossible, define the unknown.

Hypocrites religiously act assholier-than-thou.

There’s shelter for everyone under God’s omnipo-tents.

Mending offenses is time well spent.

If you’re all alone you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.

Quasimodo acted on his hunches.

Take your time before it’s gone.

Nowhere you aren’t.

 

PARDON MY APHORISMS

Just call Trump the Hate White Grope.

He doesn’t feel guilty by reason of inanity.

He pretends to be a big dog, but he’s really just a whiney little bitch.

That’s HIS STORY, and he’s stuck with it.

Fox News will only let you “know” what it wants you to “no”.

Trump supporters: a real cluster flock!

Russian whores may be the most “beautiful”, but Republican whores are the most “dutiful”.

With Pruitt in charge, EPA stands for Environmental Pimping Agency.

Foolish fuels global warming.

Don’t be BLUE, Republicans, just WAVE goodbye.

What gets shorter as it gets longer? Life.

Going away scarce time, which is why it runs out on you.

Where do bunny rabbits vacation? Easter Island.

The beach shore is nice.

He loved his beans so much he was inflatulated with them.

To be free, give yourself a way.

MY APHORISMS ATE MY HOMEWORK

Russia really needs to be Putin it’s place!

Scoundrels will only answer to a lower power.

Trump is a wall nut who borders on insanity.

If only Trump’s presidency was a television show pathetic ratings would have cancelled it long ago.

Trump’s wallet takes money you’ll never get back.

Know-nothings no more answers.

Lawmakers first pass through the lobby, and then go write down ink-corporated loopholes.

Power always is sus-stained with blood money.

The answer justice not revenge.

Get acid relief bicarbonate of soda.

Your worst mistakes are the ones you make last.

I admired Gumby until I found out he had feet of clay.

Seeds of the past feed dreams of the future.

Genuiners are the real champions.

Chess you can, Fabiano Caruana! Skill him!

To be safe, beware there’s danger.

If I make it to Heaven, look me up.

 

 

OUT-OF-CONTROL, RUNAWAY APHORISMS

(Special Earth Day Edition)

 

Global warming is fueling my atmosfear.

Carbon-dioxide emissions are driving Mother Nature crazy!

Reality can be denied but not defied.

Your car been polluting.

It’s not nice to fuel Mother Nature!

The Earth is being exhausted, so let’s all just give it a brake.

You can’t fix things by turning down the thermostatistics.

Truth only lies when it’s dead.

When energy companies have too much power, as they currently do, they can charge whatever and wherever they want.

Greed only takes care of itselfishly.

Life’s too short, and getting shorter by the minute!

Global warming: The beginning of an anti-climatic ending.

Our responsibilities onus.

I don’t get no respect. My GPS told me to get lost!

There’s a hidden security in obscurity.

To be one with nature, don’t get beside yourself.

Renewable is do-able.