by Ralph Lombard

Take a second first of all and don’t be confused. The “real” story is that there is no “real” story so you might as well ask me what I think about nothing because I don’t think nothing about nothing because it’s all just fake. And what “they” really don’t want you to know is that the “real” story is that there’s nothing to know because there is no “real” story, which is logical because there’s nothing that’s going to change my mind about that because it’s all really fake, except for the part about nothing, which is really real. And you can believe that because it’s what I heard. And I’ve seen lots of “reality” shows in my time so I guess that pretty much makes me a “authority” on the subject, case closed, end of discussion, checkers mate.  And it really pisses me off but I’m not sure why so maybe that’s fake as well, which means I’ll have to check it out and make sure just in case I need to punch someone in the face. So please quit all those mean, horrible, hurtful lies or else because it makes me so disoriented and confused that sometimes I fall down and hurt myself with punitive damages, so thanks a lot Hillary Obama, if that really is your real name! And don’t try to tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about because nothing makes me angrier than that! It’s like the old saying our parents taught us: “If you can’t say anything nice, shut-up fuck face!” So just move along if you know what’s good for you, because there’s nothing to see here because there’s nothing to know because it’s really all fake so quit making a spectacle of yourself because there’s absolutely NO STORY HERE!!!