Humorist, poet, philosopher, and cracker-jack prize winning author, I’ve been called “the finest new writer of the 21st century”, but only by my mom. I’m also an aspiring songwriter with his own band; unfortunately it’s just a rubber band. But seriously, life is too serious to be taken seriously, so please skip this sentence. Now I am squeezed-out like a sponge, so I must go absorb some more reality. Or maybe watch TV.