Category: aphorisms


Trump always makes the nuisance he’s an idiot!

Careful: a tarriffied economy will often sink into depression.

You Midas well call him King Anus since everything he touches turns to shit.

A scoundrel’s Hope lies in deception until he’s caught.

Give him enough rope and he’ll make his own news to hang himself with.

Hey Kushner! Jaready to follow in your father’s footsteps?

I’m waiting for Mueller to release his own memo: “After Nunes. Time for arrest.”

Democracy: Fighting for what’s right, while holding onto what’s left.

A no-good heel without any sole should always be shoed-away.

“There’s no such thing as evolution!” claimed the monkey’s uncle.

You don’t know what you don’t know, you know.

Science informs, silence conforms.

I have no comment, and you can quote me on that.

Nowadays those who are modest are old-fashioned.

I wish I wasn’t so humble so I could be greatful.

What do men want from women? Go figure!

More lessons lessen morons.



The Presidon’t no nuthin!

Am I nuts, or have we become a democrazy?

Never put your ass on the line for someone you can’t take seriously.

Trump makes me laugh so hard I cry!

Falsifiers burn their bridges in front of themselves.

Mid-term elections might just lead to a GOP “down” fall.

It’s always up to nervous people because they never calm down.

The masochist his torturer lovingly.

Follow yourself on Twitter and you’ll never get lost.

Take heart: Behind every gray cloud a blue sky awaits.

What did the astronaut say to Mother Earth from outer space? “See you ’round!”

Spring has sprung, and I’m not dandelion!

How do cows feel after milking? Udderly exhausted!

During his retirement King Arthur often reminisced about the good old days and Knights.

Where does inspiration come from, and more importantly, where has it gone and why?

The best things in life are free, and if you don’t like it, get your money back!

Keep on standing tall, in a resiSTANCE!



Americans beware: Putin’s PAC in town, and on the attack once again!

For God’s sake, Republicans, your country’s under attack! Wake-up and smell the borscht!

The Russians have gotten almost as good at dividing US with propaganda as Fox news.

We’re under attack and led by a quack. Duck, Donald!

Clearly Trump has put the “mock” back in demockracy.

What a temper! Mental fool he is!

Careful, Mr. President. You can jump  on an executive priviLEDGE, but you might also fall off of it.

I’m not twisting your words, your words are twisting others!

When Republicans “fix” the budget, it’s an elementary deduction that schoolchildren will suffer.

Gridlock: Democracy inaction.

If you think that love is an illusion you just don’t believe in magic.

God bless us all, including those I wish would drop dead.

A fool in paradise will always seek greener pastures.

To find yourself, first check your GPS!

Inquizative minds want to know… Game shows!

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t get stoned because eventually they’ll crash.

Don’t love talking, talk loving!



Tanks a lot Wall Street anD ow Jones that really hurt!

Trump is inclined to general lies about everything.

Falsifires shed no light; they only cast shadows.

How can you make a case if you haven’t got a clue?

Careful! The prelude to mass-destruction has often been mass-distraction.

We need to observe a ban on hate, not a Bannon hate.

That lunatics me off!

Where does ego maniac? Crazy, man, crazy!

And the angry man livid unhappily ever after.

Trump loves the poor, no? Yes!

Will a pay-off lead to Stormy whether or not?

When the blind lead the blind it’s a dark day indeed!

Never bring a knife to a gunfight, unless you’ve cornered the market on bullets.

You can count on a census every ten years.

Never trust a headhunter who offers you a free haircut.

Dan Druff is a flake!

Resist, one voice at a time and all in unison.



Republicans capital lies on “trickle-down” economics once again.

As the rich get richer, the middle-class becomes more and more “poor us”!

The reason conservatives believe so strongly in “personal responsibility” is because they’re so good at helping themselves.

I think Fox News would attract more liberal viewers if only they’d add a laugh-track.

I long for the “good old days”, when the lunatic fringe was obscene but not heard.

Over and over the Republicans relie on Fox News.

It’s a democracy, so shut up and deal, or shut down and squeal!

Blowhard on your own trump’, Donald, when Mueller comes calling.

Beware: An asshole who claims to have good scents in reality is a stinker who’s full of shit!

It takes a really big “hole” to bury an elephant.

The unfortunate last words of the missionary to the cannibal: “Meet me for lunch.”

“Do you have any experience?” the cowboy applying for a demolition job was asked. “I wreckin’ so,” he replied.

Why does Mr. Peanut walk with a cane? Because he’s got planters fasciitis.

My horoscope came true. Astrology whiz!

Every religion believes it’s rite.

Careful! If you make a mountain out of a molehill you may never get over it.

The pen is mightier than the sword, unless it’s out of ink.




Zero tolerance for predators, and no Moore excuses!

It’s all about respect. No woman should have to feel squeasy.

The GOP tax plan: Serving the middle class… on a platter, as usual.

They’re great at running things. Into the ground!

Mexico won’t peso. What now?

Perhaps Trump’s scheme is to screw things up so much here that Mexico is the one who decides to build a wall!

Trump often exhibits temper rally insanity.

Hateful people are always lost in contempt-plation.

Fantasy colliding with reality is like a bug colliding with a windshield.

Beware the true believer whose grasp of reality is unrealing.

To avoid bad news, kill the messenger before he arrives.

Get a clue National Security, and finger Prince.

The hungrier you are, the better food tastes.

Insomniacs can only dream of sleep.

Live your life or die trying.

“Why the long face?” I asked the horse. “Because whoa is me,” he replied.

‘Tis the season for giving, forgiving is divine.






No news is good news unless it’s fake.

Liars are always anxious to tell their perversion of the truth.

The Mad Hater held a tea party with malice in “Blunderland”.

Trump supporters believe insecurity in numbers.

Trump rallies: More rendezvous’ .

John McCain has always served his country, unlike those who only serve themselves.

Heroes give everything, zeros give nothing.

Scoundrels climb the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

When Trump proposed throwing a party, no one realized it would be under the bus.

Make me look bad and I’ll get ugly!

What do you get when you cross Republicans with a dunce? Republicunts.

A lesser-known Knight of the Round Table was Sir Ramick. He had feet of clay.

The greaser from Brooklyn awoke oily in the morning.

I’m a delivery driver. Mainly I haul ass.

How do I get my ideas? Funny thinks happen to me.

To grow more evasive, fertile lies with bullshit.

To end war, have a peace of justice.




Trump’s strategy: Pandering to debase.

Ask me if Trump is unfit to be president and I’ll answer with an unqualified “YES!”

If you ignore reality long enough, it will eventually sneak-up behind you and give you a good, swift kick in the ass.

To get something done about global warming, turn up the “heat” on politicians.

The rich get richer, mainly because of their pediGREED.

I support any politician who runs with scissors.

Is there a DACA in the House?

The worst thing about Hell is probably that it’s so damn crowded.

Perhaps Zuckerberg should change his company’s name to “TWO-FACEBOOK”.

A police statemeant: “No civil liberties.”

Arrest police brutality before it kills again.

There’s no getting around it, life is a circle.

Pass the time, if you’ve got any extra.

Why are operators always standing by? For goodness sake, somebody give them chairs!

Take up downhill racing if you’re so inclined.

No faith? Know faith!

I’m right here aware are you?





Trumpty-Dumpty sat on a wall…

“Pardon me,” said the stinky old fart.

Hear a wealth-made man lies.

One gets the impression they’d prefer a press “corpse”.

“Look!” said the blind and deaf elephant, “There’s nothing to see hear!”

Clean-up your own messages.

The only way to have your cake and eat it too is to steal someone else’s.

They remain conceited because they actually can’t stand themselves.

The most obvious need of any child is apparent.

Mother Goose got down!

If I didn’t have a brain I wouldn’t mind.

To add self-sufficiency and self-reliance, count on your own fingers.

What do you call a frightened Australian psychoanalyst? A Freudy-cat.

What do you call a French female lawyer? Le gal.

Who’s the world’s greatest inventor? Pat Pending.

When I die I want to be remembered posthumorously.

Chess develops mental patience.



President Trump wants to lead the entire country. ASTRAY!

The Trump Lie-brary adds volumes every day.

He’s gotta license he doesn’t want you to know.

At least the laughing-stock market is at an all-time high.

When life knocks you down don’t give-up, get up.

To turn the tide, make waves!

Unfeeling people are always out of touch.

Before you open your mouth, open your eyes.

You’ll never choke on your own words if you choose them carefully.

In diplomacy, sanctions speak louder than words.

To remove those annoying advertisements from your television, unplug it.

The matador’s mantra: “I’m OK, you’re ole`!”

Beware of cowboy lawyers; they may try to lasso you.

In poker, when Lady Luck is on your side you’re in good hands.

I don’t know why, but I felt kind of weird driving that Audi.

What did the car say to Stella the stuntwoman? “Stella! You’re driving me crazy!”

Different people vary differently.