mymanymoodsofme

ME, MYSELF, AND EYE

Category: humor

PREYING FOR HIS DAILY BREAD

“And now a word from Reverend Curtis Conway.”

“Friends, I was sitting having a beer with God the other night, when God said to me: ‘Brother Curtis, I’m kind of short. Could I borrow a twenty until next week?’ And I said: ‘Certainly, Lord, but what do you need twenty dollars for?’ And God said to me: ‘Well, Brother Curtis, it’s not cheap trying to run a universe. The upkeep alone is astronomical!’ And we laughed at this. And then God said to me: ‘Brother Curtis, I want you to tell all your friends out there in cyberspace to send you their money. All of their money. And the reason I want them to send you their money is so that you can dress in the finest clothes, eat the finest foods, and live in the finest of dwellings. And the reason I want all this,’ He said to me, ‘is because I want everyone to know that I am the only God, omnipotent and all-knowing. And if anyone should fail to send you their money I will cast them into the outer darkness, where there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth and grumbling.’ Well friends, I told God I’d do the best I could and after showing me a few card tricks He left. Friends, I’m asking you now to send me your money. All of your money. Because He told me to. And remember friends, He knows where you live.”

Advertisements

ENDALL

Are you lonely? Depressed? Does the whole world seem gray and tasteless? Do you have difficulty facing each new day? Then maybe you should try Endall. Endall is quick, painless, and easy to use. Simply take two Endall pills and within seconds Endall’s active ingredients are coursing through your veins, arresting your most vital bodily functions. Within minutes you’re dead. No pain, no fuss, no mess. And Endall contains the poisons most widely recommended by the CIA. So the next time you think about ending it all think of Endall. That’s E-N-D-A-L-L, Endall. Now available in the new cherry, grape, and orange flavors.